Things on Twitter that Give Me the Shits

I’ve had a yucky day. Mostly because I’m unwell (nothing serious, just ick, you know?) and some work crap is bothering me. So I’m going to be totally self-indulgent and have a rant about things that shit me on Twitter*. No, these are not rules or guidelines or what everyone should do. they are things that shit ME, and I am allowed to be shit by things. Get comfy. Or bugger off if you’re easily offended. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

  1. Twittascope. It’s spam. Turn that shit off.
  2. Those quiz things. That shit belongs on Facebook where I can hide it.
  3. People with no avatar picture. I hate that brown and blue default o_O thing. It’s rude, put a picture up there. I don’t care what it is. You, your cat, a flower, a cartoon, just put SOMETHING there so you have identification.
  4. People using the C word. I am the swearin’ librarian, and I can swear with the best of ’em (here, have a “fuck”, just for the fun of it), but the C word is really misogynistic and has no masculine equivalent. I just hate it.
  5. Links posted with no explanation as to what they are. Stick your rickrolling up your arse.
  6. Boring people who tweet the same thing every day, or that I can tell what day of the week it is by what they’re tweeting. They may as well be saying “It’s Tuesday, I had meatloaf, same as last Tuesday”. Zzzzz!
  7. Got no location or bio in your profile? Piss off! I’d rather you just put your country if you don’t want to put your home town.
  8. When people piss all over avatar colours or twibbons that are symbols of goodwill, when they’re doing fuck all for any causes themselves.
  9. Constant spammy links to articles about your spiritual beliefs (or lack of them). Stop trying to convert me.
  10. ANY tweets that are denigrating to anyone else’s spiritual belief (or lack of them).
  11. People who shit all over those who post pictures of their cat/kids/pet rock. So what if you’re not interested, unfollow. Some of us LIKE cute baby/pet pics.
  12. When people bitch about twitter competitions. They’re usually the same people posting three hundred spammy links to some anti-religion site or three hundred articles about how Apple is better than Microsoft.
  13. Apple haters.
  14. Microsoft haters
  15. Haters.
  16. Those who excuse disgusting behaviour through tweets as “Oh he was drunk.”
  17. Those who shit on newbies. Everyone was new at some stage, and the whole point of social media is through SHARING.
  18. If someone is innocently doing something that is poor form, just tell them. If they continue to do it, THEN get snarky.
  19. Baying for blood. Put the flaming torches down people.
  20. Passive aggressive bullshit.
  21. Cliques
  22. Those who pick on the odd typo or spelling mistake. It’s fucking Twitter, not a thesis. (I will admit that every tweet having spelling mistakes or typos does wear a bit thin though).
  23. People who are not famous (ie Stephen Fry or Nathan Fillion) but think they are too important to respond when asked a question, or acknowledge someone who answers their question.
  24. Social media experts.
  25. Any kind of experts.
  26. Businesses that have Twitter accounts and then ignore people who tweet to them.
  27. Businesses that spam with constant links to their products.
  28. Meatmarket tweets. All that shit about girlpashing and photos of their tits and trying to get into each other’s pants. Take it to the Normanby you lot.
  29. Lurkers.
  30. Folks worrying about the number of people who follow them. Or folks touting how to get more followers. The numbers don’t matter. How you engage and connect with people does.
  31. Shitting on other people’s music/movie/book/whatever taste because you think your taste is “better/more important”. It’s not, get over it.
  32. Bitchiness. Sneering. It doesn’t make you look cool or funny. You just look like a prick.
  33. Superiority complexes. “Well I knew all about it, I can’t possibly understand how YOU didn’t”.
  34. Constant “Fuck my life!” tweets trying to gain attention. Everyone goes through tough patches and your Twitter buddies are there for you when you need to vent or feel crap. But when all you do is moan for attention, it’s pathetic. Particularly if you’re never there for others in return.
  35. Getting involved in other people’s discussions when you’re not even talking about the same thing as they are. Jump on in if you’re on topic, but leave people alone if you’re on a tangent!
  36. Posting things that are Not Safe For Work without an NSFW warning.
  37. RACISM. Not acceptable, EVER.
I am sure there is a lot more (that’s a lot already, I know!) but I’ve had my rant and I feel better now. It’s been a bitch of a day, I needed that.
Again, these are not “rules” for Twitter, they’re things that just shit me personally (and make me unfollow usually).
*note: if I am following you on Twitter, this is NOT about you. I unfollow people who shit me.
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August 3, 2009. bad day, lists, rants, shits, Twitter.

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